Confessions of GOD (?)

I am awakened by sudden creaking of the old wooden temple doors. The brilliant reddish lining on the horizon had announced the advent of the sun with birds chirping in unison. The soothing breeze of fresh air rushing past the fat familiar silhouette of the priest prepared me for yet another busy day at work. A sudden thud of a coconut shell breaking right in front of me, brought me back to the real world where the priest had thrown me open to the enthusiastic crowd waiting eagerly to catch a glimpse of their favorite, the Almighty, the most powerful. The GOD. Yes, that is me. I am the so called God, expected to help people in dire need, installed helplessly in a dark gloomy room and adorned beautifully with ornaments.

The daily chore had begun. The desperate hands trying to feel my feet have started to flow in. While the luckier ones have even poured some milk on my feet. “What a waste”, I was thinking when I found a thick black hand circling me with a currency note. The daily madness had begun.

While the madness continued, I was lost in my thoughts. The questions I have been struggling with refuse to budge. “Why am I here? How did I suddenly become the most powerful from an insignificant chunk of earth? What magic did the man who molded me into a human form do to grant me so much power and reverence?” I was perplexed more than amused.

Lost in my thoughts, I see a small rodent ride right up to my nose and dig onto the sweets beautifully laid out in front of me. And people watch in amazement and reverence, while all I can do is helplessly stare at the rodent. I am as helpless as the one with folded hands standing with bowed head in front of me.

Every day, I am subjected to so many emotions- worries, woes, confessions, tragedies, gratitude. Why? What did I do to deserve so much admiration and adulation? I am more disturbed when the realization dawns upon. “I am not the Almighty who they are worshipping. I am just the medium for them to invoke the strength within them to face the woes of life. Why am I needed then? Wasn’t I living all this while in the illusion of power and might which they have created, for their own good? I was fooled. I have been tricked into becoming the GOD for them”.

The next question I ask myself, “Did I have any control?” The answer is a certain “No”. I was dug out of the backyard and molded into this idol of omnipotence. What choice, did I have? What is it that made me go through this journey? What if, I would have not been dug out of the backyard of the potter who made me into this adorned piece of reverence? 

I was beginning to miss myself.  I wanted to be “me”. The piece of earth, the miniscule, “not so important” chunk of soil which was home to a large tree producing exquisite flowers. I wanted to be baked in the sun and soak in the scent of the rain drops falling on me. I wanted children to make merry and play on me and chuckle in absolute happiness. Oh, how much I miss being the “me”, the miniscule insignificant, happy and careless me.

My chain of thoughts was broken by a loud thud of an iron bell hanging above my head. While I submit to the destiny of being the GOD for now, I am left with a hope that someday, when cracks seem to develop in my body, I would be replaced with a new defect free piece and I would be immersed in the river which flows nearby. I wonder how would that be, floating with the river as it treads past the mountains and plains and settles into the ocean. How would it be to a part of the vast expanse of the ocean, where there would be more like me, but free from pressures of being the GOD. I wait in anticipation, for the future, till then I have to make do with being the GOD.

” With great power comes great helplessness”.