It was the last day of college. The final formality was being carried out before leaving the college premises. The certificates deposited at the time of admission were being retrieved by the students. He was also there queued up in the not so long line for the last time of his college life. As he gathered his certificates from the counter and turned to get out of the line his eyes met a face so familiar that it did not even take him a moment to recognize it. He had known this face. He had admired this face. He had adored this face. He thought of smiling at her and offer a “Hi, How are you?” But then something refrained him from doing that. Silently he moved his eyes off and moved out of the queue to his waiting friends. He asked his friends to carry on and assured them of joining them in a few moments time. He never dropped an inkling of what he bore on his mind. He was often accused of never ever divulging his slightest of feelings and keeping his secrets veiled. He chuckled at this accusation as this helped him create an aura of mystery around him. He was often complemented that he was not known completely even to the closest ones. He endorsed the idea of unveiling himself in bits so that every shade of his persona gets the deserved acknowledgement.
As his friends moved out of sight he set his eyes on the girl who was in conversation with her friends. He came to know from their conversation that they belonged to the extension centre of their college. As the girl smiled to one of her friends he noticed that she has changed a lot. The appearance much more mature now. He leapt into nostalgia which swept over him. He remembered the morning assembly of his school when it was announced that there was a reshuffle of sections. As he moved into a class full of new faces and a few old ones he came across a cute little girl arranging her bag on the desk. He had liked her at the very first sight. As he settled on to his seat his little innocuous mind could not resist the attractive face and he fixed his gaze on her. Days passed by and watching her in the class had become a routine for him. He got a feeling that even she had tried to steal a few glimpses of him and when their eyes met he found her blushingly shy away. He was going through a strange feeling. This was a new feeling to him. Every time their eyes met his heart went to a thunderous stop. Now as soon as he entered the class in the morning his eyes would scan the entire room only to find her. It became difficult for him to spend a whole day when she was absent.
The classroom romance started to tell on him. He would imagine himself dancing to the tunes of the latest hit songs with her on snowy white mountain tops. Stories that were taught in the class had begun to replace him as the protagonist. (The story of a brave young knight who had rescued her lady love from under the nose of her kins who were against their marriage). Deep down his heart he had an alien feeling of guilt and fear that this undeclared romance might lead to a deterioration of his academics which was certainly not acceptable. From his childhood days he had been taught that affairs had spoiled and ruined bright careers.
The girl studied with him for the next 3 years but he never had the courage to walk up to her and even talk to her. Now after 6 years their eyes met again and once again he could feel his heart beat faster, the way it used to do then. He kept staring at her and felt even she stole a few glimpses of him just as she used to do. He thought of walking up to her and smile at her. Suddenly she turned and began to walk away from him. He stood there …helpless cursing himself. He stood there, his gaze fixed on her, until she reached the end of the lobby and turned to disappear. A sigh and he turned back hoping against hope that she might come running down the lobby (Hindi film style) and scold him for not expressing his feelings for so long and then he would embrace her and the entire crowd would erupt in applaud. Alas, those are meant only for Hindi films. He took a deep breath, looked back one final time and then walked briskly to his friends.
He took the puff from one of his friends,inhaled a long one, lifted his head and scattered the smoke into the sky.And he moved on.......
Comments
kya baat hai yaar..
dil khush kar diya tune..
You just try to hide your lack of confidence in urself, by shifting the focus to smoke n all...